All good books have dedications. So should blogs..
I want to dedicate this blog to my parents who raised me and shaped who I am as a person. I love you guys and miss you terribly and am looking forward to when I will be able to see you again.
You are seeing this post if the website that you were trying to visit (or view content from) is still not recovered. I hope to get the network blog back up by the end of the weekend. The Weather site may take longer, but the weather data is still available at Weather Underground or at http://wx.findu.com/n5snt-2.
Update 1:
OK, here is the story… I currently run my websites via a virtualization solution on my Windows 2008 R2 Server box at home. Unfortunately, I was running a slightly too unstable (that is in hindsight) Linux distribution on this webserver. On Wednesday afternoon, the box decided to scramble my ext4 partition. I then tried running fsck on it for the next two days to try to resurrect the data (I was OK with just wiping the install). Alas, my /home directory was completely trashed. Also, I had neglected to make a snapshot of data for the past few months. So I’m now forced to recreate the website from my DB backups from early this year. I’ve elected not to restore the files for now from my last backup and am just rebuilding everything. This majorly sucks, but at least I’m going to end up cleaning up things. The major suckage will be rewriting the URLs to make the photogallery work.
On the matter of the photogallery, it’s going to be a while for me to resurrect it. In the meantime, you can visit my Picasa gallery that has most of my photos. I was setting this up while I was waiting to recover the hard drive.
For now, the blog works, but none of the links that access content outside of Wordpress doesn’t work. I’ll recover those tomorrow…
Update 2:
I went ahead and disabled access to the photogallery directly when accessing it from a different URL. The link in the theme still works. So if you are seeing this coming from Google, that is why. :(
Here is another set of recordings from our concert yesterday. Please note that these songs are for personal use only and are mainly intended for friends who could not attend the performance. I will remove the links upon request.
Song Notes: These songs are from my perspective in the band. So note that they are low-brass and percussion heavy. This would be what the concert would sound like if you were a performer. Also note that the IPhone has a good dynamic range, but some of these songs exceed this range from time to time. Also, the first two songs were recorded with the microphone in the wrong direction (sorry). Also note that these songs were performed after a maximum of 4 rehersals since restarting for the fall.
It seems that this has been one of worst weeks in the past year. Turmoil and sorrow at the office. Being sick and overwhelmed at the same time. Missing out on life. – Let me back up a little and start from the beginning:
1. One of my dear friends has left my office. This hurts me as much as when Stephen, Ryan, and Wayne left. Maybe a bit more. This was not her fault – I feel it was more the decisions from the powers-that-be at the office. It’s not the first time and won’t be the last time that I am completely befuddled by what they are attempting to do. Wait, I understand what they are doing – I just questions the methods and decisions that are being made. There are others there that I care about so I must press on for now.
2. I should be happy this week. The weather is more to my liking without any sun for the past three days. However, it seems that the mold in the air is kicking my butt right now. I think it is a sinus infection, but a cold wouldn’t be out of the question as of now. I left work feeling absolutely miserable at 2 PM and promptly slept for 4 hours before waking up to fix supper.
3 Due to weather and the above sickness, I had to miss my practice on Tuesday night up in Wimberly with the Hill Country Community Band and then bowling tonight (although I probably would have stunk up the game with my general lethargy that I’m feeling right now…). The concert and football game on Saturday are subject to being cancelled for me if I don’t feel a little better. Secondly, I wanted to drop by the fairgrounds and buy a sausage-on-a-stick and some roasted corn. It seems unlikely that I’ll be able to make that either.
The server migration has been (mostly) completed… I’m now running the CentOS x64 webserver in a Hyper-V virtual machine on Windows Server 2008 R2 (i.e., the server side of Windows 7). If you are planning on a Linux install on the R2 version of Hyper-V, I would recommend skipping the RC of the new Linux integration components. I get better performance without them… So I’ll wait until they are properly in the kernel sometime in the December/January timeframe…
I still need to do some Apache optimization that I was sorely lacking before.
Enough geek talk for now.. I’ll try to keep that over at the network blog…
I’ve been mulling over the writing of this post for the past few days as I try to “find my path”. This has involved taking a step backwards, appraising where I am, and looking forward to the future. I generally do not enjoy this process and am liking it less even now. What has concerned me is not that I am trying to adapt to change, but the steps I have taken to effect those changes. I must admit that change is a very necessary step in my life course as of now. The path I was following would have me wallowing in self pity, despair, and depression. However, as I take a step back to see what I have done, I have not kept true to myself. As William Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet – “to thine own self be true” – but then I realize that I haven’t been true to myself. Shakespeare’s advice then continues “it must follow, as the night the day, thou can not then be false to any man.” How can I be true and steadfast to others when I am not to myself. I don’t want to be a fake person. That would benefit no one, especially myself. So now I must temper myself and make sure that the changes I am making are ones that I can honestly look at myself in the mirror and say “I’m proud of that.” This realization hit me like a load of bricks this past week and my conscience has been weighing on me – convicting me of following the “easy” path.
So where to go now? My base problem remains. Most of my troubles/problems all have the same root issue – self esteem/confidence – something of which I am sorely lacking. I must make solving this issue my paramont concern because no amount of superficial changes I make to other aspects of life will have a lasting impact if I can’t solve the root problem. The question of the moment is how do I do so? I’ve made strides, but my self esteem is still much lower than the average in society in general. To conquer this, one must need to get more assertive and more willing to place a higher value on your self than others. However, at this point I run into a paradox as I value others above my own well being. Thus, you can see my conundrum.
For now, I’ll leave the deep thoughts that have been troubling me over the past two weeks and move to lighter issues:
I went to my first movie of the year – G.I. Joe. I still need to go see Harry Potter, but I haven’t had the chance.. Maybe next weekend or one night after work. Then again, I discovered that Star Trek is playing in a theater in San Marcos (I’m an engineer and MOST engineers are trekkies… I know there are a few exceptions, but … Then again, it took me until my Junior year in college to see the Star Wars trilogy and that was after a friendly kidnapping…)
Work is work.. We kinda got a day and a half of holidays back, but at the cost of now having to work a full work week whenever we have a holiday (i.e., we will close on Labor Day, but you are expected to work the full 40 hour week to include Fridays). It doesn’t seem like an improvement to me. But then I see much darker things happening in the forseeable future at the office. Contrary to what our bosses may think, the housing market is not into recovery mode as of yet. Housing values have not reset down to a realistic market value and have been kept overly inflated by the manipulation of the market by the Federal Reserve, the Treasury, and the President of the United States. I don’t see any recovery until we hit the hard bottom. After the $8500 housing tax credit expires at the end of the year, the current mini-boom of housing starts will end and we will have a more depressed industry. Gloomy, ain’t I today? That’s why I would probably change professions if I either quit or get laid off from my current office. It would take until 2011~2012 before we can get any meaningful change in the market.
I have Jury Duty later this month.
I need to travel (both because of work reasons and the fact I need to get a recharge). Maybe TFMA and another event in the October/November timeframe. I have 4.5 weeks of PTO that I must use between now and December 20th (this may change due to the changeover in Accounting software, and if I still am working by that time…)
Football Season, baby!! If you tailgate for any of the UT games, holler at me and I want to come by to visit. I’ve never tailgated and want a good indoctrination into it…
Why did MS wait a week and half to release R2 Server after the release of Windows 7 to Technet/MSDN?
I have a lunch “meeting” tomorrow.. Will be different and interesting…
I’m calling this post closed now before I crash out on the keyboard (it’s been a long and adventurous day). Have a wonderful week and keep me in your prayer’s as I try to shake out my problems…
Today’s posting is going to be a “stream of conciousness” thread. I am on day 3 of a 4 day holiday weekend (and the last paid holiday for the year, so it seems) and have gotten much done, including repairs on the house plumbing system, kinda getting the AC to work sporadically (I must wait until Monday for a new fan for the heat pump unit), Comal Community Band performance, and a lot of house cleaning. I’m still not ready for visitors yet, but I should be set by the end of next weekend. Tomorrow will have me BBQ’ing a 10 pound brisket (providing me with meals for many days once I freeze it), hanging out with Stephen, doing some work, and going to church.
So what is new since my last posting?
I got a new haircut… It is WAY too short. Let me say that again – way way way too short. It’s my fault, though, due to a mishap while painting/caulking the bathroom and not noticing the gob that got in my hair… So I had to cut it out of my hair and proceeded to look horrible. So I had the barber “even” my hair out and now I look like a military recruit.
A few new bombshells at the office – an across-the-board pay cut of 10% without altering the numbers of hours worked per week and no more paid holidays after the one Thursday (the 4th of July holiday is on Thursday since we don’t (supposedly) work on Fridays.
I meant to go see a movie Thursday night, but I wanted to wait to see Tranformers at an IMAX theater in San Antonio or Austin. I then thought about watching Star Trek, but I would have to drive to Austin to do that and I was in no mood for that. So I was lame and stayed at home.
Watched the fireworks after walking Rudy tonight…
What are my goals for the next month:
I have a new urgency to take my certification examinations. I’ve been putting them off, but work has me a bit worried about the longevity of the company.
Go on a date. This is the hard one. I’m tired of being lonely.
Get out more. Like above. Due to my social anxiety, I will try to avoid this one, but I need to do it for my own good. Plus networking can be good for both work and dating.
Finish the house (cleaning, that is…). I still need to do a lot of painting, have a dishwasher installed, and get the “shop” building redone. First things first, though. It took me over a year to replace the toilets, but then again the plumbing problems were bringing the issue to the forefront.
Work on my confidence. This will help me with #2 and #3 above.
Goals for the second half of the year:
All of the above. I need to go on several dates (at least to get more experience dating as I am very out of practice).
Take another trip. I’m hoping to go to a product launch in October, but I don’t know when/where yet. If not, I plan to take a trip up north in late summer/early fall or around Christmas.
Camp. It is too hot right now to do it, but I need to do it.
Be more open to change.
That’s it for now. I hope to have the strength and wisdom to do what needs to be done.
I am now back home from my weekend trip to Las Vegas to celebrate Tommy’s upcoming wedding. We left at dark oclock on Thursday morning and arrived home late Saturday night. A total of eleven people went including some fellow co-workers and even my overall boss. As some of you may know, I had decided after my 2003 Las Vegas trip vowing never to return. It would take a lot of convincing or a special event to get me to reconsider going. So in the end, I finally relented and agreed to attend towards the end of April. My reasons for going back are varied and many, but I will address some of them below. Before continuing, I want to assure my fellow sojourners from the trip that I will abide by the “What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas” saying. I have posted a few photos here (and will be adding more once I unpack my camera) of both the sights (and in some cases, sounds) and people of Las Vegas. Now as for my thoughts:
Travelling with other people is much more fun.. This is probably one of the things that got me started on the wrong foot with Las Vegas in my 2003 trip. When I went last time, I was with people that I hadn’t met before in person (we all got to know each other pretty well as time went on), but we were still total strangers with each other. This time, I went with four coworkers, one ex-coworker, one person I knew fairly well, two people I’ve met before but didn’t know too well, and two other new people. There is comfort when traveling with people you know. Thus I was more apt to be open and trying to broaden my horizons. In the end, I got to know three of my non-coworkers much better and was at ease in talking and interacting with all (that’s a new one for me in two days). I’m always up to travel and would be overjoyed to travel with anyone that I know (and if I can get off of work, but I have plenty of time off to use). Travelling alone sucks.
I started my trip more on the depressed side (not due to the trip, but I’m just describing my general state of mind pre-trip), but I leave with hope. Hope for relationships. Hope for what could be. Hope for changes. Optimism is not something that I have an abundance of. This is something I could have accomplished anywhere, but Las Vegas is like an alien nation compared to the comfort and familiarity of Texas. I had experiences and saw things that showed me that anything is possible.
One of the things others can tell you about me and this trip is that I was more open to getting out of my comfort zone. I still wasn’t as open as I could have been, but then I went a bit more open that what I had planned to in the first place. Again, this openness is caused by me feeling a sense of comfort and safety that point number one provided.
I did generally enjoy myself. I regret not taking the time getting to the swimming pool or staying up later like some of the others were able to do. But it was as much a learning environment for me as it was entertainment/vacation. If you were one of my sojourners, I took at least one (but probably much more) nugget of wisdom away from our interactions. Thank you for that.
This one seems out of place, but I do feel like I’m getting in better shape.. I walked all over the strip each day (even in the Las Vegas heat). I did the equivalent of the Tropicana to Bellagio Loop (about 3 miles round trip) multiple times each day and didn’t struggle at all. That is something major for me.. Plus I was easy in comfort on the airplanes (although the last flight did have a mighty short seat belt, but I still fit it). So I no longer need to fear flying.
Everyone seemed to enjoy the trip. Some people had better gambling experiences than others (I ended up $45 dollars, but I also hardly spent anything – I love the electronic lady blackjack machine at Binions). A lot of great food (I love Brazilian Steakhouses – Texas de Brazil and others liked Emeril).
The bad thing about the trip was how expensive everything seemed. Las Vegas needs to solve the traffic gridlock problems. I was able to walk from the Tropicana to the Bellagio while making a quick stop in Walgreens for a water in the same amount as a cab took on the same journey. That is unreal. The traffic makes all cab rides at least eight to ten dollars and an average of 20 dollars. Also the city should consider extending the monrail to the downtown area (i.e., Fremont Street).
So yes, that is the answer to my question about whether I enjoyed the experience. Will I go back? If someone else will come with me, yes. But then let me say I am willing to travel and do anything that is physically possible for me (so no mountain climbing YET) and with enough notice to be able to get off. I’m even willing to try new things (would I have gone to a Brazilian steakhouse by myself? not on your life…).
More individual stories later as I will be VERY BUSY the next two days to make up for being gone the end of last week…
Again, thank you my fellow sojourners for an awesome experience….
I tried recording our Summer Concert held today (June 28, 2009) at First United Methodist Church using my IPhone 3G. The results actually turned out pretty good – way better than my original Fuze. Please note that the perspective of these audio tracks is the same as one would get if you were actually sitting in the band. So the songs are pretty brass heavy, but everything can be heard. This also is a test of the Audio Player Plugin for Wordpress:
Please note that some songs have a delay before starting. Remember that I need to handle my instrument before starting the recordings…
I’m sorry for the downtime on the photo gallery (down since Monday night). I was doing a Wordpress 2.8 update to my network blog via Wordpress and all of the sudden most of my webfiles were deleted. I got Wordpress back up and running here and over there, but it took some time to figure out why Gallery2 wasn’t working. I resolved that yesterday afternoon while waiting for something else to finish running.
So what’s new, you ask? Let me list the ways:
My Tuba is broken. Well, let me rephrase that. It isn’t working too well.. I’ll limp along through tomorrow night’s rehersal and then our concert next Sunday and the following 4th of July concert. Then I’ll take it into the shop to get it fixed. I won’t need it again until rehersals pick back up in mid-August for a September concert in Windcrest, TX.
I definately need a plumber for a hour or two around the house to fix all my plumbing related woes.
I’m going on a trip in the future. Just going on this trip means I’m going to be super busy at work for the next week or so… No, not to Alaska.
I now have an IPhone… Don’t ask… Not one of the new ones – this one is a used 3G. I like that the call quality is much better than the Fuze or other smartphone. I haven’t noticed any reception woes, either. It’s running 3.0 and I jailbroke it yesterday to fix some of the annoying problems (I hate the ringtones, email alert tones, and in general all of the notification options). Slingplayer works with my Slingbox Classic at home (even though it tells me that it isn’t supposed to work). That’s good since I can have the CWS game video on tomorrow at the rehersal. Does this mean I’m done with Windows Mobile? No. I just was given an opportunity that I couldn’t pass up. I already miss the GPS features from the Fuze (the IPhone doesn’t have much other than XMaps or XGPS).
Just finished making up meals for the rest of the week. Meatballs, spaghetti, and grilled chicken… I freeze the food, take some with me to the office for lunch and the rest for supper. Saves money and is more healthy. Today’s meal was a T-Bone steak (HEB has these cheap about once a month), Corn, Cucumber Salad, and broccoli spears. Nothing for tonight except the leftover corn and cucumber salad. Yum yum.
Work sucks… What’s new there… I’m looking forward to July. No more Vision meetings. I can finally get my Friday’s back and I won’t have overtime that I have to take for pay (I prefer using overtime as time off, but the schedule has precluded that lately).
Got back in touch with some former co-workers this past week…
It’s definately too freaking hot to get things done outside. I water whenever I can, but that is it. Fortunately I don’t need to mow, but that time will be coming soon. Yesterday reached 98. It’s been around that or higher for the past week and it seems like it will be like that for the next week(s).
Brought my weight set back out of my closet from when I was in high school. Getting in shape sucks, but is so necessary. I still walk daily and try to vary my routine (sometimes fast like sub-15 minute mile, sometimes I tackle hills, sometimes length – 5.5 miles being my longest). Allergies aren’t helping. Allergies bite (literally and figuratively). I’m taking my Claritin during the day and then an Actifed when I go to bed.
It’s been two weeks since I’ve done Rock Band. The Wii has gotten more action lately (My Fitness Coach – which can definately kick my butt). Maybe July will be more liesurely.
I guess that’s it for now.. I won’t have any website updates for about two weeks or so… Hopefully a post here and there, but no promises.
I have made small updates on many of the pages of this site. I’ll continue to update more things and add more content as time allows. I’m expecting to have much more free time in July to get caught up with things both off-line as well as on-line.
In other news, I have been working on a few projects the past few weeks. House-wise, I’m trying to keep everything OK. As I am expecting houseguests in July, I’m trying to get things cleaned up as much as possible. Also, if anyone (in the New Braunfels area) has any recommendations for a plumber, I would be grateful. I’m having difficulties with two bathroom appliances in need to replace both sooner rather than later. Yeah, I know, I’m a guy and I should be able to do these things. However, I’m squeamish when it comes to working with mechanical (i.e., vehicles, engines, etc) and plumbing. I’ll work with anything electrical, technological, or structural, so I don’t have to turn in my “man card”.
As for the other things affecting me in my life, I am still battling my old nemesis – fear. The fear of the unknown. The fear of the new. This inner demon that torments me. I’m getting encouragement, but I backslide into behavior I abhor because it fees this fear and loathing. For those of you who are around me, let me apologize for all of the things that I might (and probably did) say or do.
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