How I Feel

I have now completed two months since my own D-Day.  I’m still grieving, hurting, in pain, and suffering.  I fear that I will for some months or years to come.  My biggest problem is one that I wasn’t expecting, but I guess that I should have – GUILT.  I have found the following article on the internet – “Guilt after caregiving for a spouse” that has described in detail exactly what I have been going though.  Although my situation wasn’t that of a caregiver of a spouse, the points still apply to me because I was in the surrogate role of a spouse during the caregiving process.

Now I just need to get over this guilt.  Yes, I even made a promise two days before D-Day to not be sad or guilty.  It is just hard to follow through on that when guilt has been ruling my life for years in almost everything I do or have done.