Monthly Archives: April 2009

First Year Thoughts

Posted on by

It has now been one full year since I had to “press the reset button of life”. I can’t say that the past year has been easy. It has been rough. Terribly rough. But it is a phase of my life that I must push through, regardless if I want to or not.   I’m writing this posting to talk about things that I have learned over the past year and some of the areas that I need to improve on.

Things that I have learned:

  • That it is possible to make changes even when everything seems so bleak, so hopeless.  Change was necessary to keep from drowning in pain and suffering.  Change is not easy.  There were times that I practically hated myself for making the same “destructive” decisions because they were too comfortable. 
  • I have learned that everyone has a purpose.  One person can impact a countless number of lives.  I think back to the number of people who I had influenced over the year and I was staggered by the implications.  Friends, family, enemies, and even people whom I have never met were impacted by my existence.  This thought alone, as strange as it may seem, helped me on the path of “coping” (I can’t say recover because I haven’t recovered and won’t do so for some time).
  • Life can and will be cruel.  I learned this lesson the hard way.  It’s not something that I didn’t know beforehand, but I “noticed” it more afterwards.  However, these experiences strengthen us and can positively impact our life.
  • Relationships in life are important.  Too bad that I completely suck at making and maintaining them.  This is the aspect I need to improve on the most, but one that is dependent on solving other issues of my life first (i.e., self worth).  Also, I need to mention that there have been some very important people in my life the past year who have helped me survive the “storms of my life” over the past year and I sincerely thank them for their help.

Things that I need to improve on:

  • From above, I mentioned “self worth”.  I’m getting better at having a more positive “self esteem”, but I’m not quite there yet.  As I also mentioned, this is hurting me in other aspects of my life.  I need to work on this, but this requires a fundamental change of my personality.
  • Get out more.  I still stress on the “getting things done” phase of life and haven’t learned to relax yet.  Again, this requires a change in my personality.
  • I need to get a sense of humor.  I’m very serious, normally.  If you know me well, you know that it is possible that I can have humor in my life.  But generally that side of me is very reserved.  I’m normally very serious.  I’m not a cut-up.  I don’t seek attention (actually, I tend to run whenever a spotlight is on me).  It’s this level of discomfort I must resolve.  Again, this is (partially) related to the first required improvement above.

There are still times in my life when I wonder to myself – Why?  What’s the purpose?.  These times are scary.  I’m happy to say that they come less frequently over the past few months.  Grief sucks.  It is, however, a necessary phase of life that everyone must go through.  And it can be a slow harrowing process.

-more information later-

GPX Test: Neighborhood Walk

Posted on by

This is a test posting to see if I can import elevation information from the GPX file. This was my walk from this afternoon. It was a fairly short walk that took way too long to do, but it was vertically challenged as I had three hills to conquer each way (not much, but it is more elevation relief than my normal walk).

Well, here it is:

Test Post: KML of the Dry Comal Creek Trail

Posted on by

This posting is a test of the XML-Google Maps plugin that will display a Google Map with some of the trails that I have mapped using the GPS Cycle Computer application on my phone. All of trails I post have been walked

I walked this trail on March 29, 2009 after my trip to Rockport.  I stopped by here after picking up Rudy (my dog) and before church.  Total walking time was 25 minutes for 2.1 miles.  Until I got to the end, I was alone out on the trail (a mountain biker dude started down the trail as I left).

April Showers

Posted on by

It’s about time for me to post an update and brain dump:

  • The planter garden is done (for now) with four rosebushes (three of which are blooming right now), six marigolds, 5 daylilies, and a few cannas.  I still have much more to plant, but I want to make sure that these things live first.  I have seven tomato plants with three actual tomatoes on them (and many, many blooms) and more onions than what I know what do with (I love onions).
  • I put in a floor with carpet tiles in the spare bedroom and started moving things in there.  This a relief as that room was just a junk repository for years.  I still haven’t moved the bed in, but that will happen by next weekend.  So if any of y’all out there want to come to New Braunfels to tube or go to Wurstfest and need a place to crash, you know where to call.
  • I’m working on my home office/workout room.  This is very much a work in progress.  I think I have finally picked out a paint color to use.  My next task is to move the bed into the spare bedroom, then to paint.  I should be done with desks since I went to IKEA this past weekend to pick up a new table and office stuff.
  • The Spring Concert for the Comal Community Band was today.  A good time was had by all.
  • I went and spent a weekend at Rockport the last week of March.  This was my first trip there in 11 years since my dad passed away.  I’ll go back sometime this summer and camp at Goose Island.
  • I want to take an Alaska cruise, but I’m worried about the volcano erupting in Anchorage.  Volcanic Ash + COPD/Asthma do not mix too well.
  • I had a loss at the office.  I miss him terribly, but he is working at a better place now.  Good luck dude…
  • I had continuing “suckage” at bowling this spring.  I finished the league with a pathetic 124 average.  I started the season at 138.  Maybe this summer or fall.

Enough general brain “dumpage” for now.