Oddly enough it’s not my “ears” that I need to turn off. It’s often my eyes that directly link to the inner dialog and non-stop chatter that fills my head. I have to close my eyes at church in order to worship, sing or listen to the sermon. (No, I’m not sleeping) That’s why I love when they play songs I know. Because I can really turn my eyes “off” and sing. Or when I’m outside I love to lift my face to the sun, or into the wind and close my eyes and just turn off the chatter.

I know that it’s not really feasible for you to close your eyes at church. Although it would probably be funny at some point.

A lot of times people recommend a quiet place. A place where you sit in silence. That just makes me nervous. Or sleepy. So for me, complete silence doesn’t work. And from what you’ve told me of your work habits, you’re probably similar to me that way.

When I’m not hearing the Lord, or feel separate from Him, I have to remember to turn off the internal chatter, to turn off my eyes and listen. And sometimes the way to do that is to turn on the external sounds (music, crowds,etc) and turn off the internal talk, however you can do that.

Thank you for your honesty and openness. I read somewhere that you give the advice you want to get. (You being in the generic 3rd person – a pronoun that is seriously missing in the English language)

And in this case that is very true. I realized while writing this, that I haven’t been listening. That I’ve actually been running from the answers by filling up my time and my head.

I truly am glad to see that you have opened your mind and turned down the “volume” of doubt and indecision to hear what the lord has to share as you give way of your percieved “control” and relinquish it all to him….I assure it is a lot easier said than done as I too find myself going through a lot of the same things within my own life…..

Life is about the fall…..It is defined by how you fall and fail as graceful as possible and then in the manner in which you pick yourself up from the fall and proceed thorugh the journey until a stumbling point occurs again….I am learning slowly but surely that God leads us through the trials and tribulations but allows for the falls along the way to remind us that it is his path we have chosen to follow and to ignore the ideals of the devil that seem to cloud our path at each twist and turn….FAITH – we did have a rather lengthy conversation on faith and I apologize if those words stung at the time but they were words and a message that I feel God placed me at the time to pass on to you as a fellow “brother in christ” and overall christian learning to weather the falls of life with grace. Look to the bible and more specifically at Matthew 4 1:11 – Where the devil led Jesus into the desert (wilderness) and tempted him to use the power of the lord instead of demonstrate his faithfulness in the lord…..Faith is omnipresent…it is around at all times and is truly only ours as christians and belivers to grasp, emmerse in, and reap the rewards of as we put our all into the hands of the Lord and resolve to revolve our lives around Faith in the presence of the Lord.

I recently have likened myself to a song written by Tom Skinner “Blind Man in the middle of the road” – Who would have thought a “red dirt” country musician would create a song so chocked full of the Lord’s message….

He likens himself and life to being a blind man standing in the middle of the road….he can’t see the danger in front of or behind him and for that matter all around him but he stands there on BLIND FAITH….Love, acknowledgement, and total commitment of our lives to the Lord…..I have begun to live my life with a true BLIND FAITH in the Lord….I have quit asking WHY and changed my questions to HOW and WHERE….

The forest and or wilderness mentioned previously is to be likened to life….It is an unknown much as is life that we know and live…..We use this “wilderness” to grow, learn, live, and become the truest self that we can be in the eyes of the lord…..Some of us will touch the lives of the masses where others will touch the life of but one in a positive manner for the work of the Lord…..I don’t know where we lie in that plan but I know through FAITH in the Lord and my best foot forward at all times with his guidance and total relinquishment of control will I be able to touch all those that I can and live a life of true reward, honor, and continue to live on after I am gone from this life with the Lord as my rock and guidance day in and day out…..

I pray for you as I do each of my friends, family, and likewise I pray for those who have left me down, hurt, and utterly confused….Every person who enters our lives has done so for a reason be it from the lord or the devil….I have recently chosen to pray for both ends of the spectrum as I know we are to show love to all and forgiveness to even things we cannot fathom….

The Lord will lead, guide, and protect….It is our “job” to follow, show mercy, and allow for the unknown so that the Lord may show us all that exists in the bountiful life he has set out before us…..

Love you Jeffrey and know we are all in this boat together….