Tag Archives: Life

Roadie

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Well, maybe not quite…  I’ve been learning a lot of the background of sound engineering from the friends at church.  It is a much different world than what I am used to and I can definately say that it is fun.  :)  (Fun isn’t a word you normally hear out of my mouth).  It can be work, especially with transporting the equipment and the teardown, but it is a good labor of love.  Especially when it is for a good cause.

Link of the Week:  Stagelight – How to Do Cable Wrapping – I learned this one from Philip, Jeff, and Doug last night, but the video helps to reinforce the idea.  This will show you how to wind cables in such a way that you could hold one end and throw the rest of it to unwind it.

This post is also my attempt to renew my blogging.  This blog is strictly for my personal and non-computer-techy thoughts.  I haven’t been the most active person the past few weeks/months/years.  I’m hoping that this will act as a part of my re-engaging my passions of life that I have been either purposefully or unconsciously been ignoring to my detriment.  I feel like I am so behind in what I could and should be doing.  It’s time to stop being so regimented in things that must get done.  I’m living in a such a world that I will be (and have been) buried by the self-imposed obligations that are of little importance in the long term.  (And no, this doesn’t mean I am ready to quit just yet…  Sorry…)

More later as I try to follow this latest path.

P.S. My Network Blog should get a bit more active, but I have been so out of it lately that I don’t feel qualified to post anything there…

First Year Thoughts

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It has now been one full year since I had to “press the reset button of life”. I can’t say that the past year has been easy. It has been rough. Terribly rough. But it is a phase of my life that I must push through, regardless if I want to or not.   I’m writing this posting to talk about things that I have learned over the past year and some of the areas that I need to improve on.

Things that I have learned:

  • That it is possible to make changes even when everything seems so bleak, so hopeless.  Change was necessary to keep from drowning in pain and suffering.  Change is not easy.  There were times that I practically hated myself for making the same “destructive” decisions because they were too comfortable. 
  • I have learned that everyone has a purpose.  One person can impact a countless number of lives.  I think back to the number of people who I had influenced over the year and I was staggered by the implications.  Friends, family, enemies, and even people whom I have never met were impacted by my existence.  This thought alone, as strange as it may seem, helped me on the path of “coping” (I can’t say recover because I haven’t recovered and won’t do so for some time).
  • Life can and will be cruel.  I learned this lesson the hard way.  It’s not something that I didn’t know beforehand, but I “noticed” it more afterwards.  However, these experiences strengthen us and can positively impact our life.
  • Relationships in life are important.  Too bad that I completely suck at making and maintaining them.  This is the aspect I need to improve on the most, but one that is dependent on solving other issues of my life first (i.e., self worth).  Also, I need to mention that there have been some very important people in my life the past year who have helped me survive the “storms of my life” over the past year and I sincerely thank them for their help.

Things that I need to improve on:

  • From above, I mentioned “self worth”.  I’m getting better at having a more positive “self esteem”, but I’m not quite there yet.  As I also mentioned, this is hurting me in other aspects of my life.  I need to work on this, but this requires a fundamental change of my personality.
  • Get out more.  I still stress on the “getting things done” phase of life and haven’t learned to relax yet.  Again, this requires a change in my personality.
  • I need to get a sense of humor.  I’m very serious, normally.  If you know me well, you know that it is possible that I can have humor in my life.  But generally that side of me is very reserved.  I’m normally very serious.  I’m not a cut-up.  I don’t seek attention (actually, I tend to run whenever a spotlight is on me).  It’s this level of discomfort I must resolve.  Again, this is (partially) related to the first required improvement above.

There are still times in my life when I wonder to myself – Why?  What’s the purpose?.  These times are scary.  I’m happy to say that they come less frequently over the past few months.  Grief sucks.  It is, however, a necessary phase of life that everyone must go through.  And it can be a slow harrowing process.

-more information later-