Hey, thanks for visiting my testimony site. I am a relatively new christian, so I am still learning and currently thirst for the knowledge of the lord and the bible… However, I am without a home at the present time (more on this below).
Well, first let me give you a brief history.
I was raised as a Catholic. My mother was a catholic and my father was a non-practing lutheran. However, I would not say that we were overly religious. My mother took me to Sunday School during my formative years and I was Baptized, and Confirmed as a Catholic. However, during all this time, we were never taught the word of the lord. All we saw and heard was the catechism. Yes, I believed Jesus existed. But I was not steered towards believing in Christ with my heart. I was overly concerned about works, not grace. I thought that if I asked for forgivess from the priest and tried to live a clean life that I would be OK. My friends from my confirmation class and older peers seemed to feel the same way. However, I was not being led about how I was to live my life. This should have been a sign to me, but I ignored it.
Later, I moved on to college in Austin. However, by this time, I had moved away completely from organized religion. I don’t think I attended a single church service save for those who were getting married or for funerals during this time. I had no direction in life and was led wayward by the devil. I did have many friends who tried to guide me down the path to Christ, but I also ignored them. (Thank you to Mac, Roel, Judd, Ken,? Louis, and the others I haven’t named for never giving up on me). I still lived what I would consider a relatively clean life - I avoided alcohol, stayed away from drugs, and kept away from sexual immoralities as much as a guy could. ? However, I was still a sinner. I lied, cheated, and stole.? I was jealous of others.? I denied the influences of Christ in my life. I thought I knew better. I was wrong.
I was blessed by god with many gifts, including intelligence, health, wisdom, and judgement. However, I was being led down a path of self-destruction. I was stubborn. I thought I knew better. I used my gifts for purposes in which they were not intended. As a result, I descended into what I consider to be my personal hell. I was depressed (not that I knew it at the time). I was denying my friends and people who cared for me. Why? I thought I knew better.
Forward ahead a few years. I graduated from college. I found employment out in the real world. I should have been rejoicing on how God was blessing my life. However, I still thought I knew better. I descended even further in my personal hell. I extracted myself from society and became a virtual hermit. I was depressed. I had anger. Soon the emotional walls came crashing down around me… I was in a world of my creation. I rejected the people who cared for me. I rejected the influences of the Lord in my life. Why? I thought I knew better.
Finally, in the spring of 2002, my virtual world collapsed and I was thrust back into the cruel (to me, at least) reality. My mother was hospitalized with a severe respiratory illness. I thought I had learned my lesson and attempted to seek God. I prayed daily. However, I still did not allow the Lord to enter my heart. I thought to myself - let this incident pass and I will be a better Christian (I say Christian even though I was not one at the time by faith or deeds). My mother improved and recovered. However, I didn’t follow through on my end of the deal. I resumed my previous behavior and started to retract into my virtual world.
The one positive about this experience was that I was re-exposed to religion and I started to seek help with my social anxiety problems. However, I did not rectify my belief system fallacies. It took two full years to finally rectify this situation.
In October 2004, I started reading the Bible in earnest. I never had done this. I found the stories fascinating. I then started to listen to some of the local Christian radio stations and some of the services/sermons of other local churches. I never heard the word of God in this light. Was I so wrong for so many years? I started to question many of my former views. I ran through the issues in my head. I talked and corresponded with a coworker about biblical issues that I was confused with. Jesus was starting to get my attention. I then started to thirst for the word of God. I discovered the Romans Road site on the internet and discovered what I actually need to do to gain salvation. Finally, in December 2004, I finally broke down my self-imposed barriers and accepted the Lord into my life. I have recently re-confirmed my commitment in Jesus Christ and strive to let him guide me down the path that he wants me to follow. Now, I hunger for the knowledge. I want to make sure that others hear the word of the Lord and come to know Jesus in his/her heart.
The changes in my life are profound… I still am tempted (and I do succumb from time to time) by my old vices. However, no man/woman is righteous. Only Jesus is righteous. Jesus died on the cross and accepted punishment for my sins.
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Now for the matter of finding a home. Most of my conversion has been as a result of self instruction either by reading/listening to the Bible and other religious books or by studying on the Internet. I have not found a physical church to attend, though.. I have been listening to many different church services via Podcasts or other internet-based AV sites.
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If you would like to discuss how to have Jesus become a part of your life, or you would like to be added to my prayer list, please email me at jrandow@jeffreyrandow.org. Also, please include me in your prayers so that I can continue following the paths and byways that Jesus guides me along. Thank you for taking the time to read this testimony and may God bless your life.
